NOTHING

(Jeremy Harmer is through a sumptuous south Indian meal at the Satyabhama University, Chennai, where he addressed the keynote address at the Thrid International English Language Teachers Association of India Conference on Feb 8, 2008)

In the end Jeremy Harmer's impact lasted just as long as his presentation did. About 30 minutes. Jeremy Harmer, the English Guru. Jeremy Harmer, the author of one of the most read ELT books world wide--- How to Teach English and The Practice of Teaching English fell flat at the English Language Teachers Association Third international Conference, Chennai.

Jeremy, in fact, on his first ever visit to India, was working at a huge disadvantage. He was denied the pre publicity that would alert the audience about his work. Few newspapers interviewed him and his website obviously hasn’t had many visitors from India. His reputation as an English Guru failed to precede his arrival here. His publishers, Pearson Longman, did little to help him. None of the books he authored were on display at the alongside book exhibition at the venue.

This, however, worked to the huge advantage of the audience. They were under no pressure to nod their heads at whatever he said. How could one otherwise explain the audience reaction of the eight minute `English Teacher at work,’ clipping Jeremy so enthusiastically showed them? ``Culturally STUPID,’’ shouted one teacher as Jeremy stood all ears next to him but completely unpreapred for the comments. Jeremy, had no answer. ``The teacher you showed is a lucky one. She doesn’t relate to us,’’ reflected a lady, forcing Jeremy to review his lesson plan.

Now, Jeremy got even more animated than the lady teacher in the clipping. It didn’t help. He wanted the audience to come out with three adjectives, one each for the Teacher, the student and the lesson. He mustn’t have prepared for `stupid,' and `lucky,' in his wildest dreams.

Jeremy was equally disappointing for those who knew what he was. He was simply repeating and rehashing all he had, otherwise, already explained so well in his books.

I must say had it not been for the critical remarks Dr Anthony Bruton, of Spain, made on the second day, on Jeremy’s presentation, during his own workshop, most would have forgotten of their encounter with him. ``In the end what language did Jeremy’s teacher give her students ? Bruton asked. Nothing. Nothing agreed the audience.

Chennai Simple

The first thing that struck me about Chennai was its simplicity. It has none of the chamak dhamak of a metro. At Broadway – the main city bus station, from where I boarded a bus to the IIT, it took me a while to realize I had indeed arrived in Chennai and not a small township around it. Simple folks, dressed modestly. The women wear loads of flowers – perhaps the only cosmetic accessory they allow themselves.

As the bus stirred on to the main road, I had to convince myself it wasn’t a Sunday. Cool traffic. As the bus gained speed and distance, I kept waiting for images of a busy metro to emerge -- high rise buildings, spectacular shopping malls, trendily dressed men and women ---- but the monotony of simplicity just refused to break.
After an hours journey, that cost me Rs 5.50 paise, I got down at the IIT gate. The ELTAs had arranged for our stay at IIT’s Mahandi hostel in its huge campus. I did not expect its volunteers and office bearers to be waiting to receive delegates at the gate a day before conference. But this was just the beginning of the enthusiasm and resourcefulness that volunteers were to display throughout the three day conference. You had just to look in their direction for help and at least four would leap up saying ``Yes Sir.'